Nepali politics jokes

1. Why did the politician cross the road? To switch parties!

2. Why did the Nepali Congress politician refuse to use the escalator? Because he didn't want to be seen going down.

3. Why did the Maoist leader join the gym? To strengthen his revolutionary muscles.

4. Why did the UML leader refuse to play chess? Because he was afraid of the knight.

5. Why did the politician wear a hat to the meeting? To cover up his flip-flopping.

6. Why did the politician visit the doctor? To get a prescription for more empty promises.

7. Why did the politician refuse to take a lie detector test? Because he didn't want to hurt the machine's feelings.

8. Why did the politician go to the hair salon? To get a new spin on his policies.

9. Why did the politician refuse to attend the wedding? Because he didn't want to be seen kissing babies.

10. Why did the politician become a farmer? To cultivate votes.

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Slow Driving

A police officer stops  a van  full of elderly ladies being

driven by an old gentleman because they’re only going 25 kmh,

stopping the mid-day traffic.

The policeman asks the driver why is he going so slow.

“Well that’s the speed limit, isn’t it! There was a sign saying 25

and everything!” the driver defends himself.

The policeman sighs, “No, sir, that’s the number of the

highway you’re on. It has nothing to do with the speed limit.”

“Oh, so that’s what it means…” says the driver, looking shocked.

The officer looks at the rest of the van and notices the grannies are looking somewhat frozen and stiff.

“What’s up with the ladies?” he asks the driver.

-“Um…” the driver scratches his head, “you see, we just got off highway 150…”

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choharwa

choharwa is situated in siraha district. choharwa is in the middle of siraha district. it is 20 km from east( baluha river near lahan) and 20 km from west (kamala river).in choharwa there is market called choharwa chok and people go there to buy necessary goods. choharwa bazzar is oldest market in siraha district. people of balkawa, asanpur, jamdaha, phulbirya and other near villegers come to do shopping there.  monday and thrusday the market is full of people this two days in a week people come to buy and sell their goods. the merchant from  rajbiraj, gaighat, ithari, katari come to buy goods.

the location of choharwa is here
<a href="http://www.collinsmaps.com/maps/Nepal/Eastern/Choharwa/P1065919.00.aspx" title="World Search location map of Choharwa">Choharwa location map</a>

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nepali jokes in english

Feri Chat Suru Bhayo :
...
Keti : timi drinks and smoke garchau
ki nai ???
Keta : nai ma ta kehi pani khadina ...
...
Keti : toit aajkal ko keta bhayera pani
nakhane ...
moh ta wild khaidinchu ta ... ali ali ta
khanu
parcha ni ... malai ta ali ali khane
manche man
parcha timi jasto suddha keta man
pardaina ...
sorry ...
BLOCKED ...
...
aarko keti : timi drinks and smoke
garchau ki
gardainau ?
Keta : aah garchu ... ali ali matrai ...
keti : chiiiii !!! malia ta yasto kei
khane manche
man pardaina ... sorry i don't like
you ...
BLOCKED ...
...
Mother of God ...
...
Hami Keta harulai kehi gare pani
sukha chaina
baaaa ...

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new nepali jokes

हाकु काले पसलमा गएछ :
हाकु काले : साउजी मलाई कुकुरको लागि खाना दिनुस् त।
साउजी : कुकुर ल्यानु भा छ ?
हाकु काले : नाइ कुकुर घरमा छ ।
साउजी: sorry , हामीले तपाईंको कुकुर न हेरी केइ दिन मिल्दैन।
अर्को दिन :
हाकु काले : साउजि मलाई बिरालोको लागि खाना दिनुस् त ।
साउजी : बिरालो ल्याउनु भा छ ?
हाकु काले : छैन, घरमा छ ।
साउजी : बिरालो ल्याउनुस् अनी बल्ल ।
अर्को दिन :
हाकु काले एउटा झोला बोकेर गएछ,
साउजी : झोलामा के बोकेर ल्याउनु भको ?
हाकु काले : हातले आँफै चेक गर्नुस् न ।
साउजी(हात चिराएर छाम्दै ): अली अली न्यानो छ, चिपिक-चिपिक हातमा लाग्छ, अनी चिसो- चिसो पनि छ , के हो यो ??
हाकु काले : आची हो क्या साउजी ।
मामपाका साउजी म टोइलेट पेपर किन्न आको आज....

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nepali jokes

ठुली केटि : तेरो boyfriend तलाई kiss
गर्न खोज्यो ''don't'' भन्नु अनि अंगालो मार्न खोजे ''stop'' भन्नु
नि बुजिस ???? ।।। 
सानी केटि : हुन्छ दिदि !!! ...

(भोलि पल्ट )

सानी केटि : दिदि त्येसले मलाई त kiss
र अंगालो एकै पटक गर्यो र मैले पनि एकै
पटक ''don't stop'' भन्दिए......
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


सेरे पागल भएछ । सधैं भन्ने गर्थ्यो अब
गुलेली बनाउंछु अनि परेवा मार्छु।
उस्को यो बानी देखी हैरान
भएपछि परिवारले
हस्पिटल
लगेछन्।
डाक्टरले 6 महिना उपचार
गरेपछि दिमाग टेस्ट गर्न
सुरु गरेछन्।
डाक्टर - ल भन सेरे अब घर गएर के गर्छस्?
सेरे-
बिहे गर्छु।
डाक्टर ले सोचेछ सधै गुलेली बनाएर
परेवा मार्छु
भन्थ्यो तर अब यो ठिक भएछ क्यारे ,
फेरी निश्चित
गर्नको लागि फेरी सोधेछ- अनि बिहे गरेर
के गर्छस्?
सेरे- सुहागरात मनाउन बुढीलाई
कोठामा लिएर
जान्छु।
डाक्टर - (उत्सुक हुंदै ) अनि अनि? सेरे-
बिस्तारै
उस्को ब्लाउज खोल्छु। डाक्टर- अनि अनि के
गर्छस्
भन्न भन, सेरे-अनि उस्को ब्रा पनि खोल्छु ।
डाक्टर-
आम्मम , अनि के गर्छस्? सेरे- अनि के गर्नु
नी ,
त्यो ब्राको ईलास्टीक निकालेर
गुलेली बनाउंछु
अनि परेवा मार्न जान्छु|,,,,,हाह
ाहा हा हा हा...


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



सुन्तली : धुर्मु
राती मुबिल चार्ज
मा नलगाऊ ब्लास्ट हुन
सक्छ रे .
'
''
''
'
'
'
'
'
धुर्मुसे : सुन्तु तिमि चुप
चाप लगेर सुत !
अनि मलाई तेस्तो बेकुफ
पनि नसोच
मैले बैट्री निकालेर चार्ज
मा हालेको छु !.............................



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ठुटे र झाप्ले जंगलमा घुम्न गएछन्
अचानक अगाडी एउटा बाग आएछ .. दुबैलाई टेन्सन भएछ.. अनि ठुटेले idea लगाएर भुईबाट माटो उठाएर बागको आखामा हालेर भाग्न लागेछ ...
.. झाप्ले चै हेरेर बसेछ....
ठुटे : ओई झाप्ले भाग
झाप्ले : साले तै भाग ..म किन भाग्ने !!
आखामा धुलो तैले पो हालेको हो त.....................

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one thing can change you life

A student asks a teacher,
"What is
love?"
teacher, "In order
to
answer your question,
go to the wheat field and
choose
the biggest wheat
and come back. But the
rule is:
you can go through
them only once and cannot
turn
back to pick."
The student went to the
field, go
through first row, he
saw one big wheat, but he
wonders... may be there is
a
bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger
one...
But may be there is
an even bigger one waiting
for
him.
Later, when he finished
more
than half of the wheat
field, he start to realize that
the
wheat is not as big as
the previous one he saw, he
know he has missed the
biggest one, and he
regretted.
So, he ended up went back
to the
teacher with empty
hand.
The teacher told him, "This
is
love... You keep looking
for a better one, but when
later
you realize, you have
already miss the person..."
"What is marriage then?"
the
student asked.
The teacher said, "In order
to
answer your question,
go to the corn field and
choose
the biggest corn and
come back. But the rule is:
you
can go through them
only once and cannot turn
back to
pick."
The student went to the
corn
field, this time he is
careful not to repeat the
previous
mistake, when he
reach the middle of the
field, he
has picked one
medium corn that he feel
satisfy,
and come back to
the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This
time
you bring back a
corn. You look for one that
is just
nice, and you have
faith and believe this is the
best
one you get... This is
marriage."

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hamro samaj

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Back to Class

teacher: what is your name?
student: sir mero naam kiran shrestha ho
teacher: when i ask your name in English then give me answer in english
student; sir my name is RAY GREAT

TEACHER ASKED ANOTHER STUDENT
Teacher; what is your name?
student: my name is Beautiful Red Underwear
teacher: what kinds of name is that? don't joke with me. tell your name correctly
student: sir my name is sunderlal chadda

 teacher: what happen in 2007?
student: sir democracy was established
teacher: what happen in 2036?
student: sir people were fighting against democracy
teacher: what happen in 2062?
student: sir again fight for democracy
teacher: what happen in 2069?
student: sir yo question ko answer ta paper ma raina 6 ta .............


teacher: if i saw a man beating to a dog and i stop him then what virtue would i be showing ?
student: sir it's definitely brother love


teacher: beacause of hard work of B.P. KOIRALA what do we get on 7TH FALGUN?
student: holiday

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all computer jokes

TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
KIRAN: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. now how can i get that thigs fixed
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"                      
KIRAN: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
KIRAN: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.



TEC SUPPORT: "O.K. NIRAN,  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That WILL bring up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
NIRAN: "I don't have a 'P'".
TEC SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, NIRAN."
NIRAN: "What do you mean?"
TEC SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, NIRAN."
NIRAN: "I'm not going to do that!"

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fun with jokes

kiran went to face the interview
interviewer: where were you born?                                            
kiran: Nepal
interviewer: which part?
kiran: which part? sabai body part ni.....( whole body part was born in nepal)




kiran and niran were fixing bomb in a bus
Niran: what would you do if the bumb explodes while fixing
kiran: Don't worry  i have one more............




kiran; what is the name of your car?
niran: yar i forget the name of my cat but is start with 'T'
kiran: haha what a strange car.starts with tea. All car that i know starts with petrol






teacher was teaching  grammer and he teach how to use the word "beans"
kiran: My Father cooks beans
Niran: My Father grows beans
that's good says teacher milan made a sentence
Milan spoke up " we are all human beans"

kiran joined a new job. in the first day he worked so hard. he worked till evening. the boss was very happy and asked what you did till evening
kiran: Keyboard alphabets were not in order so i made it all right




in the accident one man lost his leg and was crying very loudly" oh God i lost my leg, oh
Kiran: control yourself. don't cry. see that man. he has lost his head. but still scilent, is he crying ?



kiran; you cheated me. don't you
seller: no sir i sold you branded radio
kiran: Radio label shows made in India but radio says" yo radio nepal ho"

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bheza fry

Girlfriends r like chocolates, 
taste good anytime. 
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. 
Husbands r like Dal RICE , eaten when there's no choice.
                                                                                                     

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life! 

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? 
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence! 

Man: Is there any way for long life? 
Dr: Get married. 
Man: Will it help? 
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. 

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? 
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. 

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. 
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. 

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? 
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash. 

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'? 
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir. 

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell. 


Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. 
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish. 

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just laugh

School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Lecture:                                                                  
An art of transferring information
from the notes of the Lecturer
to the notes of the students
without passing through 'the minds of either'
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Conference Room:
A place where
everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.
Office:
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life..
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and
a woman gains her masters.
Conference:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late,
and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand
before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you by bills.
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Yawn:
The only time some married men
ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be wise after death
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions..

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